10 posts categorized "Parody"

Tomorrow is a latter day

Went to see The Book of Mormon. What a cast!

6a01156e3d83cb970c019affccdb78970b-580wiThe show ends up being about tolerance. Mormons are parodied, of course, but at the end you're told to tolerate the absurdities of their religion.

Making up stuff like that is what people do when they have nowhere else to turn.

"Whatever gets you through the night," as a famous New Yorker said.

Do not go gentle into update hype

The following is a parody. Click here for the text of the famous Dylan Thomas poem, "Do not go gentle into that good night," as well as for an audio recording of Dylan Thomas reading it.

Do not go gentle into update hype,
Smart users should burn at the bait and switch;
Rage, rage against the dying of user rights.

Though users in the end know new is right,
Some releases fork crummy features, bitch.
Do not go gentle into update hype.

Well-meaning, earnest devs, crying how bright
Their apps might dance on a platform of the open type,
Rage, rage against the dying of user rights.

Wild devs who sang the Twitter API in flight,
And learned, too late, Costolo threw them in the ditch,
Do not go gentle into update hype.

Grave bankers, near death, who see with selfish sight
UGC monetized to make them rich,
Press, press the making of the update hype.

And you, Tim Cook, there on the sacred height,
Curse, bless, me now with Apple Maps, I pray.
Do not go gentle into update hype.
Rage, rage against the dying of user rights.

Apple map

Image: Sean MacEntee / Flickr.

Facebook buys Instagram in bid to make brand advertising cool again

Recognizing that there is nothing intrinsically "hip" about affiliate marketing schemes, Facebook announced yesterday that it will purchase Instagram, the photo sharing social network preferred by all the cool kids.

Instagram Starbucks BMWBrand marketers largely applauded the move.

"This will allow consumers to bring their personal creativity and individual expression to bear when liking a major consumer brand," said Stephan Gleis, head of social media marketing at AltaSoc.

"Now if Facebook would only buy Klout," Gleis continued, "advertisers could learn something about brand direction by how consumers rate the effectiveness of a given user's brand promotion."

Other industry experts see a potential problem, however, in terms of brand integrity and potential brand dilution.

"Take a look at this early use of Instagram for Facebook," cautioned Daphne Braithwaite, CEO of brand management firm URmeLyk. "This consumer probably meant well, but as it happens, there really is no co-branding deal between Starbucks and BMW in place. There's no way to measure or effectively monetize this. It's a mess."

Legal experts expect that Facebook's terms of service will likely be amended in due course, to better police user challenges, intentioned or otherwise, to brand integrity.

Zuck's IPO Letter - the Prior Draft

I don't believe the rumor that the SEC site was brought down for a time on Wednesday, deliberately, so that Mark Zuckerberg's letter to shareholders could be "corrected."

Even if the prior draft (shown below) had been included in the initial filing by mistake, clearly the tracked changes evidence the intent to deliver the text you find in the S-1 now, changes "accepted."

Zuckerberg letter parody

Citizen Murdoch

Los Angeles - Copyright Information Classics announced today that it will remake Citizen Kane, the Orson Welles classic popularly supposed to be based on the life of newspaper tycoon William Randolph Hearst. Copyright will bring the story forward 70 years and retitle it, Citizen Murdoch.

Orson_Welles-Citizen_Kane1Michael Caine will play Rupert Murdoch. In an effort to echo the flashback framing device of the original film, Michael Caine will also play the younger Rupert Murdochs. Alternatively, clips from old Michael Caine films may be repurposed for use in the Murdoch story.

Steven Soderbergh will direct the film, if he is interested in doing the project and if his services can be secured.

The movie will be the first major motion picture to be initially released illegally, by means of online peer to peer sharing. The traditional release cycle will otherwise run backwards, with streaming to be followed by DVD, cable, and finally theatrical release. Publicity for the theatrical release will be built around the arrest and prosecution of those who viewed the movie on illegal peer to peer sharing networks.

Three teams of writers are working on alternative versions of the "Rosebud" hook. One version will style Rosebud as a stuffed koala bear. Another will reveal Rosebud to be one of the title character's favorite wives. The third version cannot be revealed to the public at press time.

On First Looking Into Grellas's Website

After "On First Looking Into Chapman's Homer" by John Keats.

MUCH have I surf’ed ineff'ble threads of fiber,
 And many goodly sites and list serves read;
 Through many RSS feeds have I sped,
Aggregated in obedience to Dave Winer.
Of legal sites for startups, I thought none finer​
 Than that which retro-bespectacled Yokum ruled as his demesne;
 Nor did I imagine an alternative startup law 101 FAQ scene ​
Till I heard Grellas speak out deeper and wider:​
Then felt I like some watcher of the skies​
 When the ISS streaks across her ken;
Or like a tricked-out smart phone, with which GPS pries
 And geolocates your movements, the data then
Mashed with other data deep inside
 Server farms in places such as Burien.

I Think Continually Of Those Who Are Always Late

Another parody! This time of Stephen Spender’s iconic 20th Century poem, "I Think Continually Of Those Who Were Truly Great."

I think continually of those who are always late.
Who, from the get-go, neglect their appointments
Through corridors of spite, as though hours were sums
Practised by school children. Whose selfish ambition
Is that their Blackberries, still rimmed with desire,
Should send others reminders clothed from head to foot in alarms
That they themselves receive in silent mode,
The vibrations falling across their bodies like blossoms.

What rankles is never to forget
Their essential delight in appearing as others disperse
Smiling with confidence outside glass conference rooms.
Why ever do we gather in the morning simple light
Bidden by the very persons who have no intention
To wake themselves or brave traffic or skip a leisurely coffee.

In the office parks, in the club rooms, in the highest towers
See how these assholes are tolerated by the rest of us.
The names of those who in their lives can't be bothered
With the schedules of the little people whose pleasure it must be
To stew as they travel in their own sweet time
And leave the HVAC'd air stale with indifference.

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